Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
