White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
