We won't sleep together?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
