well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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