i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
