This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
