watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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