This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
