Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize