areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
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