Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
