I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
