i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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