Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
