two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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