at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
