one might say we're banned from that church
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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