Whod you bang
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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