I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm going to jail i love you
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
