At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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