Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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