i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
