i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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