that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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