I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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