we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
