there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
