Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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