I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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