there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
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