Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
