I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
