He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
