Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
