It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize