what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
