I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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