the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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