What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
