Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
