Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
