Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
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thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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