the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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