I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
