Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
