I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
