He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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