just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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