just come out here and I will go home with you...
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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