Swine flu. Run for my life!
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
