So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
