escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
