Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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