she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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