We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
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In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
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he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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