Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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