Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
