Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
