dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
