Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
We're too hungover to prance.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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