I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
