we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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