Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
