At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
