Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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