Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
