Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
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